You can have a fulfilling sex life if you have genital herpes, even though it may be more complicated than it was before your diagnosis.
Ella Dawson, then a junior at Wesleyan,tell us having sex with herpes has made her sex life better. Here are her experience.
Herpes has changed my sex life and my love life so much for the better. Getting diagnosed forced me to reevaluate what I wanted in relationships and who I wanted to date and what was important to me. I had been living in this hookup culture lifestyle at Wesleyan. I had enjoyed it but I’d been craving a real relationship.
Herpes is such a great way to weed out jerks. It’s like the metal detector of douchebags because if somebody is scared of something so harmless, they’re just not worth your time. I have a really high bar for the people I date. Most people have risen to it amazingly. That’s not to say I’ve only had committed relationships; I’ve had casual sex since getting diagnosed, it’s just always with the conversation of:
This is a reality, how do we want to handle this? Do you want to use condoms? What are you most comfortable with? What makes sense for you? When were you tested most recently? What can I tell you about the virus? It opens that gate to a conversation some people are scared of. I’ve had wonderful relationships full of communication, whether they were casual or serious, because I start the conversation and then it continues to: What are you interested in? What do you want? What scares you? How have you been hurt before? It opens people up.